Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Sacred life.
Sacred life.
Life.
The sacred life.
Living a life. Living a life. Living, living, Living a life. The sacred, sacred.
What up? What up? This your boy? Tween, the owner of Sacred Apparel, the world's number one inspiration and motivational urban.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: Streetwear brand, and Anna Johnson, owner of Overcoming Daily.
[00:00:32] Speaker A: Welcome to the Sacred Life podcast, where we will be discussing life, relationships, business, the Bible, and of course, how to.
[00:00:40] Speaker B: Live the sacred life.
[00:00:42] Speaker A: How to live a sacred life.
Today's topic is called parental manipulation.
[00:00:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Are you. Are your children being manipulated by your parents by you?
[00:00:55] Speaker A: Are you manipulating your kids?
We're going to dive into it.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: It happens. A lot of people will probably off bat, you is probably like, nah, why would I?
[00:01:04] Speaker B: Yeah. So before you just click and say, I don't need to listen to this, you're going to need to listen to.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: This as if you're already denying it.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: Because a lot of times we are manipulated by. And we don't even know it.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: And sometimes it could be generational stuff that's passed down. And so we're raised a certain way, thinking that's how we should. That's what we should be doing and how order of things and this. We have been manipulated, you know, and so.
[00:01:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that's all right. So for those of you that are new and just now coming on to the podcast, welcome.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, check us out. We're on Spotify, we're on Apple, we're on Google and subscribe to YouTube to catch these videos.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: Yeah. So be sure to, like, subscribe. And this is where we share about relationships. However the movement of God is and what he is encouraging us to share.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Right.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: About the sacred life. So let's talk about.
Let's talk about this topic. Yeah. Parental manipulation and where we're coming from.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: So, yeah, I've been guilty of it.
[00:02:12] Speaker B: Well, first we might need to define it because they may not know what we're talking about. But, you know, we didn't define it.
[00:02:18] Speaker A: Oh, that was my definition.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Well, you know, if it's a sacred life, everything we talk about is based upon scripture.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: Good. Biblical perspective and principles. Right.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: And there was a lot of manipulation in the Word.
[00:02:32] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Well, we were talking about.
Just even, I think yesterday, we were talking about how Jacob manipulated his father with the help of his.
[00:02:45] Speaker A: His mother.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: His mother into getting hit, getting. Stealing his brother's birthright. Yeah. And so it's manipulation.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: Yeah, that's manipulation.
So sometimes we could think we're being encouraged to do something. Right. But we have to look back at the origin of it, where it comes from, a why it was done, you know, so, yeah, of course she thought she was doing the right thing for him. You know what I mean? So. But the question is, do you.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: You know, and I believe that maybe his mother was.
She knew Father. Father. God had told her something about what was going on in her womb, and she may have even thought she was helping him. Yeah.
[00:03:26] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, don't we have a tendency to do that? How many. Y' all feel like y' all help God out sometimes? You think you're going to help them out?
[00:03:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: So. And we know the manipulation that humanity. Manipulation in God's eyes is witchcraft.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: Diving into that a little more.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Well, manipulation is where we're not meant to manip. We're. We're not meant to manipulate people and try to get them to do what we want them to do or do. We want. We want them to be educated and we want to present our point of view. But we're not called to lord or master over another human.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: We have one.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: God got you. Sometimes, though, if we, like, if we don't necessarily look at that and look at it as manipulation, but if we're say we're persuading someone to do something that would.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: As parents and as followers of Christ or Yeshua, we are called to.
We're called to bear that image. And where do we see God manipulating anyone?
That manipulation is witchcraft. So the question is, are you or have you been manipulated? And are you manipulating others? That's what we need to look at.
[00:04:42] Speaker A: Right? Right.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: Okay. Because as parents, we're called to reflect our parenting how? Father, parents, his children.
And there's. He doesn't manipulate.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: Right.
[00:04:54] Speaker B: He states clearly, concisely his expectations from his people, and then there is natural consequences.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: I know one that I would used to be guilty of. And this is like a couple of years ago. I know. I've actually. I stopped doing it when we were in the camper.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: Okay. And it would be almost guilt tripping my kids.
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: It's like when they didn't check on me or call me or text me or what?
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Your adult children.
[00:05:20] Speaker A: My adult children. I would manipulate them into feeling guilty about not checking on me.
[00:05:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:26] Speaker A: Like, man, I could have been dead. Anything could happen.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:05:29] Speaker A: You know, so me.
[00:05:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
So this gets to my next point.
Are your parents manipulating your children?
And so that is the. You know, that is the question. Like, what we do is things are passed down. We're not blaming anybody. We're not.
[00:05:46] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:47] Speaker B: But the Reason why I'm asking that question is to start to get all of us to thinking is that is there something generationally working that is actually manipulating even our own children?
[00:05:58] Speaker A: But, yo, time out. Because we forgot something that was very important that we always do.
[00:06:05] Speaker B: What's that?
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Would you lead us in prayer, Ms. Johnson?
[00:06:07] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, sure. Father. Father Yahweh, we thank you and we praise you and we give you the glory. Father, you are so faithful and you are so good, Father. And we welcome your breath into this subject, Father, we desire to be true followers while I'm following you in spirit and in truth, worshiping you in spirit and truth, Father. So, Father, we pray that our listeners would have ears to hear and eyes to see and that you would be exalted and magnified on today's show. In Yeshua's name, we pray. Amen and amen. I said show the podcast.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: Well, it is a show.
[00:06:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I'm used to the overcoat, but.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: So, yeah, that was a good catch. I didn't.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: Yeah. So anyway, go ahead.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: You were talking. You were talking about.
[00:06:47] Speaker B: No, go ahead.
[00:06:47] Speaker A: No, literally, you were told you.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: Danny interrupted me, said, go ahead.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: You're talking about the parents asking how the parents manipulated their kids to. How. Yeah, I mean, doing so.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: So, yeah, you were talking about how.
How you were manipulating your adult children. Not knowingly. So let me just get this. Let me just set this very clearly. Is that you can manipulate without knowing.
[00:07:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't know it. I didn't know it. Actually, I didn't know it. I forget what it was that I came across.
But, yeah, I didn't know that I was doing it. And after I realized, it was like, dang, I really am trying to manipulate him and make them feel guilty, and we shouldn't do that. Why would we make somebody feel guilty about not doing so? It's pretty much pride.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: Well, it's about you.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I said is pride is about me.
[00:07:37] Speaker B: It was idolatry.
[00:07:38] Speaker A: I mean, what?
[00:07:39] Speaker B: Idolatry, Idolizing. So where did that come from?
[00:07:46] Speaker A: It was passed down.
[00:07:47] Speaker B: Exactly. That's the point.
[00:07:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:49] Speaker B: So there's this expectation. There was an expectation from your parents that you should call and check up on them.
And if you didn't pass on, even.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: From my grandparents and those calling, chicken up on them. So it was like, it's something that was passed down from generation to generation now. Yeah. It feels good for them to call and check on us or whatever. Right.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: We're not saying that there's anything Wrong with this principle at all, what you do with the principal.
[00:08:14] Speaker A: Manipulate.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: So maybe I was.
[00:08:17] Speaker A: I was wrong by trying to make them feel bad about doing it.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: And did anyone ever try to make you feel bad about not doing it, guilting you and.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, of course. Okay.
[00:08:26] Speaker B: Yes. And so that's where we're going with this, is like, you know, is the guilt and the shame and the manipulation that maybe your parents did towards you and maybe your grandparents did towards your parents, is that now impacting your very own children?
Yeah, that is the question.
[00:08:42] Speaker A: That's the question.
So do y' all feel that you. I mean, thinking now after hearing this, do you think that you manipulate your kids or that you're doing it, or are you seeing cases of it being done? You know what I'm saying?
[00:08:55] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And so really what we're talking about today is actually in order for. We want to see healing in families. We want to see the next generation blessed, and we don't want the next generation to. And God doesn't want us to be manipulated. He wants us to be as wise as serpents and innocent as doves. And as parents, we're called to equip our children and lead them in freedom and liberty that the Lord our God has given us in and through Yeshua. So, um. So let's just take a minute and look at what manipulation might look like, what it might sound like.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Definition of manipulation.
[00:09:32] Speaker B: Yeah. But, you know, practically, you know, you use the one about the adult children.
The other part of it is. Is like, are you, you know, as a parent, do you try to do. Do you shame. If you shame your children, that's. That's manipulation. And then the question is, where does it come from?
Perhaps maybe you were manipulated as a child to feel bad and maybe your parents. I'm not talking about. About bad, about our parents or our grandparents. I'm saying let's learn from the previous generations so that we can do better.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: This is handle or control a tool, mechanism, typically in a skillful manner.
Control or influence?
[00:10:15] Speaker B: Yeah, control or influence.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: Cleverly.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: Cleverly.
[00:10:18] Speaker A: Unfairly being.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: Unfairly. Yeah, unfairly. Well, it's not fair to, like, use shame. And it's not. It's not fair to use shame. Shame is not. When we think about in the garden.
When you think about in the garden where the. The first sin was committed.
God, Father, God doesn't shame.
The sin itself shamed Adam and Eve. They hid themselves before they even, you know, they hid themselves from God.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: What does God do? He covers their shame, their Nakedness, he covers their shame.
And he doesn't, you know, say, why did you do this to me?
[00:10:59] Speaker A: It wasn't about him.
[00:11:00] Speaker B: He didn't make it about him.
[00:11:02] Speaker A: Right.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: It was more of like, this is the consequence of what you've done.
[00:11:08] Speaker A: Right.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: And who told you you were naked and, you know, basically, what have you done?
And yeah, and that's so manipul.
Comes from the adversary Satan himself. And he loves to continue to whisper in the ears of parents and create a generational.
[00:11:29] Speaker A: That's how it gets passed down.
[00:11:31] Speaker B: Generational oppression.
[00:11:33] Speaker A: You know what it reminds me of? And I've said this to you, the story about the.
The mother that would cut the roast, cut the butt off the rose. It's like this is this mother, she was baking a roast or whatever, and she cutting the end off, whatever. She pushed that aside and put it in the pan, put it in the oven, cooked it. So as her daughter was always watching cook, so as she learned to do whatever, she would cut the butt off and would put it aside and put it in the pan to cook it. Then she told her daughter, and so she was like, mom, why do we cut the butt off? She said, I don't know.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: My mother always did it.
[00:12:07] Speaker A: Great grandmother always did it. So she went and asked her why they always cut the butt off. She's like, because it wouldn't fit in the pan. The pan was too small.
[00:12:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: So they are passing on the generational thing of cutting the butt off the roast just to put it in the pan, but they didn't know the origin of doing it. She just watched and thought that was what they always did so well.
[00:12:26] Speaker B: And this is one of the challenge. One of the challenge that I want to, like, call everyone too, is, is that, you know, we spend so much.
Americans in particular, always want to upgrade. They want to get the best upgrade on the phone. Right?
[00:12:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: So why are we not upgrading the next generation?
Or, you know, we'll carry. We'll carry past generational issues into the next generation. We don't ask questions, we don't fine tune, we don't upgrade. Now that is failing to fully live life. Sacred.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Yeah, it's the problem.
[00:13:01] Speaker B: We should get more purified generation after generation, if the parents would just take the time to take a good look at what they're doing.
[00:13:10] Speaker A: Right. So what's a few examples that parents could do in order to do something like that? Like.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: Well, one of the things that we do that I really never did was is that we eat meals with our children.
[00:13:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: You Know, I was raised where we ate wherever we may eat together, but we're eating in front of a TV or we're eating. But you know, or the. I never received blessings as a child like where someone actually physically bless me.
[00:13:38] Speaker A: Right.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: You bless our.
[00:13:39] Speaker A: Just once a week, every Sabbath, we bless our kids. I have a blessing that I'll say over the kids. I have a special blessing for Anna.
And when I bless the kids, I do the boys. I have a special blessing for the boys. Then I have a special blessing for the girls. Then I bless us all as a family.
[00:13:56] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:56] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying?
[00:13:57] Speaker B: Right. And so. And it's not. It's not religious. We're not doing it as a religious act. We're doing it as a spiritual act. And out of that spirituality comes forth the right. I mean, the practical.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: I can go wrong with blessing me. Blessing your kids.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Right.
So, you know, so what you. So there are things that we need to incor. New things we need to incorporate. And then there are things that we need to cut off.
And the moment that we realize them, you know, we need to cut them off.
[00:14:23] Speaker A: Right, right. The moment that you realize them.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: Yeah. And I wish we could say, you know, we have a daughter who's 30. We have another daughter who's 26. We have another kid that's 20. And then we've got teenagers after that. You know, for those of you that are watching, we have eight children.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: Eight kids.
[00:14:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Those of you that are new are watch and kids and, you know, grandkids, I would really love to say. And if you're a grandparent watching this, you still need to hear this message because grandparents are their, their parents as well. They. They continue to parent, but they continue to leave legacy. And so, you know, part of the sacred life is. Is impacting. It's not about this generation. We're always looking for. We're always looking to the future generation to create that ripple. It's. It's wisdom to.
We have the realization that, wait a minute, I'm not going to live forever and I need to pass on Gener Kingdom legacy generational blessings.
And we have to cut out the trash.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: And. And, you know, work towards healing.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: You got to trim the meat.
[00:15:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:30] Speaker A: Trim the fat off of.
Trim all the bad parts. So.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: Yeah. So when we talk about manipulation, we're talking about shame, guilt or control.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: Deceive, Deception. Deception.
[00:15:44] Speaker B: Well, yeah, deception, but control where, where.
[00:15:47] Speaker A: You know, control is the main part of it.
[00:15:49] Speaker B: Yes. I'm going to. Can I just throw you underneath the line, can I throw you the bus? Can I throw you underneath the bus right now? And so this is just a sign that we're continually learning. So we have a 20 year old and he's supposed to take out the trash.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: Right.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: And you said, disconnect the Internet. Maybe we should just disconnect the Internet.
Now that is a bit of manipulation.
[00:16:11] Speaker A: He, he, he loves gaming and stuff. Okay? So I'm like, if the boy can't do what needs to be done, I'm disconnecting the Internet.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's, that's, that's being controlling. And I said, I don't feel she has that.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: She says, control him. I think it's a form of punishment for not.
[00:16:27] Speaker B: But you can't punish a 20 year old. You shouldn't.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:16:30] Speaker B: You, if you, if you want your 20 year old son to be a man, then you don't treat him like a child.
[00:16:37] Speaker A: Okay, I agree.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's just an example. And so that's what I'm saying is that we too are learning on the go. Those of you don't, you know, some of you may, especially any, any perfectionist that are listening right now. Listen, just learn on the go, learn on the fly.
[00:16:54] Speaker A: Yeah. So learn as you go.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: Yeah. And really talk about it.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:59] Speaker B: Now where did that come from for you, that type of strategy?
[00:17:03] Speaker A: Oh, for my mom, that was.
[00:17:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And so, so the point is, is like if we're not intentional at looking at why we're doing what we're doing, we should do all things as parents through love.
[00:17:16] Speaker A: And I have to learn. The thing that I had to learn was not to punish for everything.
I can't punish someone for everything that they do.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Every wrong thing.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: Every wrong thing is so it's like you have to pick and choose your battles.
Pick.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: Right.
Well. And you know what? Honestly, I'm gonna even challenge that language. Like, why do we call it battles? There's no, there should be no war in family. The. There should only be unity in. Our war is against, you know, mindsets we may. Our war is against mindsets. It's against deception. It's against darkness. That's our war. But there's no battles at home.
[00:17:53] Speaker A: See, dude, it shouldn't be. But.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: No, there's. But there isn't.
[00:17:57] Speaker A: But there are.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: But there.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: You can say there shouldn't be.
You can say no, it shouldn't be. But there are.
[00:18:02] Speaker B: No, no, there's not.
Listen, let's listen.
Listen.
The bad thinking is what causes stripe continues. Ripples of Stripe throughout a family and hard feelings.
[00:18:15] Speaker A: And so you're saying there isn't. That's like saying. That's like somebody having cancer and they're like, I ain't got cats.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Okay, there.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: I ain't got cats.
[00:18:21] Speaker B: No, listen, there doesn't have to be.
[00:18:23] Speaker A: Thank you. Okay, now, and I know, and I'm.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: Going to say this right now, I'm going to say this right now and I'm going to say it to the parents, is that you are master over that territory.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Facts.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: And so you gotta be careful. If you look at it like I gotta choose my battles. No, I've gotta teach my.
I've gotta. I've gotta.
Instead of picking my battles.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: It wasn't the best word.
[00:18:46] Speaker B: No. Because it sets you up for. It creates division.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: So instead of battles, it's more like I've got to choose my teaching points, my training points, not my war points.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Not my war points. Well, we went. That was not even in a. That's not even in the script today. Thank you, Father.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: We don't have a script.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: You know, and the thing is, is like when we look at Father God, he. He. He's looking down at heaven, he's looking at his people, and he doesn't say, you know, let me choose my battles. He see, he's more like, how. Let me teach my people, Let me train them, let me give them understanding. Let me.
Now, granted, there may be discipline involved, right?
Maybe even his wrath, but his wrath, what is the purpose of God's wrath? Is it to make him feel. Is it to make him feel better?
To make him feel like justice has been served? Or ultimately is the purpose of his wrath is to turn our hearts.
[00:19:47] Speaker A: More learning lessons.
[00:19:48] Speaker B: Yes. Our hearts and minds towards him, like.
[00:19:51] Speaker A: We were talking about earlier. Most of the time it's going to be uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable.
These lessons now, especially if you want to learn from. It's going to be uncomfortable, but it's a part of learning.
[00:20:04] Speaker B: So.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: So I just learned it something just now.
Yeah, I learned it.
[00:20:09] Speaker B: Yeah. So, yeah, we need to actually take some time and really think about why we do what we do. And we actually need to spend some time thinking about how we think. And our language, you know, scripture says out of the heart, the mouth speaketh. So our language shows our thoughts.
Really does.
[00:20:25] Speaker A: Don't do it. I'm not going there with this.
[00:20:27] Speaker B: Go. What? What are you talking about?
[00:20:29] Speaker A: You start talking about language. I thought you about to go there.
[00:20:32] Speaker B: No.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:20:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
So, you know, the question is, I Guess we would need to pose a question to our listeners is just like, you know, are your. Is there some generational ripple manipulating your children?
And you know, your children will be manipulated because you're manipulated. And we're not saying that your parents are manipulating you. It's the language of past generational.
It's a generational message or, or behavior that's still impacting. And our job is to do the.
As living the sacred life. We are always focused towards the upgrade, Right.
[00:21:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:10] Speaker B: That we're going to get the upgrade.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: Definitely.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: We're going to cut some things off, clean some things off and incorporate some things. We're going to bring things into refinement.
[00:21:20] Speaker A: Why? Because it's all about living a sacred life.
[00:21:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Manipulation's not part of it.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: It's not.
[00:21:26] Speaker B: So, you know, so how do you, how do you, how do you do that? Well, one, we have to pay attention to our language. We have to really look at how God parents us, how he parents his people and. And then lean into how he teaches us so that we can teach our kiddos.
[00:21:44] Speaker A: Right.
Yeah. So we're forever learning.
[00:21:48] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure.
[00:21:49] Speaker A: Forever learning.
[00:21:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
And then of course, some of us may need. We all need healing, I think. I think everyone needs healing and everyone sort. Yeah. Mentally and emotionally, there needs to be some healing. A lot of times I'll talk about closing the doors. Close the doors on certain things in your mind. There are some doors that are open that need to be closed. There are some windows that need to be sealed, and there are some company that needs to be kicked out.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Well, it's like this study. I don't know if you looked at it. I was listening to where he was talking about. Your mind is soil. And so we have to be careful. I mean, it was really good. We have to be careful of what we allow to be planted in our soil.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:31] Speaker A: Because everything that comes in, whether it's through glass ears, regardless of what it is, is getting planted.
So because that got planted, it's eventually going to start sprouting. It's going to grow. So we have to choose what we're going to allow to grow.
[00:22:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:47] Speaker A: And continue or what, you know.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's the same thing with our families. You know, if we're not intentional about our families, if we're not paying attention, we're not intentional about our relationships, then what do we think is going to grow?
[00:23:01] Speaker A: Right.
[00:23:02] Speaker B: And the other thing is, is if we're not intentional about how we think and how dealing with our emotions and our thoughts and Our behaviors, first, foremost. What do we think we're going to be planting in our children? If you're not tending to your own garden, how are you going to be able to tend in a. In a holy fashion in your children's, you know.
[00:23:24] Speaker A: Right.
[00:23:24] Speaker B: And that goes back to hypocrisy.
Children sniff that out clear as day, for real.
So, you know, if you love your children and if you love God, then take some time to pursue healing.
Make sure to look and remember, if you find a generational ripple that's unholy, don't blame your parent.
Matter of fact, don't even waste your time blaming the devil. Just identify the deception, identify the language.
[00:23:55] Speaker A: Pluck that root up.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: Yeah. And just work towards refinement, work towards healing. And if you've done some things, like even if you're listening to this video, listening to the podcast, and you find out, oh, my goodness, I've been shaming and guilting my children. I've been trying to control. Control my children. I've not been training them and teaching them and instructing them in love. If you find out you've done those things wrong, it's just, know how to clean up. Go back and talk to your kiddos and say, you know, listen, what I did was wrong. Can you forgive me?
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Right.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: And then make sure that you're doing something behaviorally to change the course of things.
[00:24:30] Speaker A: Something behaviorally, practically.
[00:24:34] Speaker B: So if you say. If you say, you know what? I'm sorry that I guilt you for not calling me and you're blowing up their phone all the time. We're talking adult children.
You know, you're blowing up.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: Don't do that. Okay.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: Yeah, no, we don't blow anybody's phones up.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: If y' all know me, y' all know I don't like to talk on the phone. So text me. Yeah, just text me.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: But I have. I have two parents that are not about blowing my phone up.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: Oh, gosh, yours do.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Yeah, a demanding thing.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: Sorry, y'. All.
[00:25:00] Speaker B: Yeah. But anyway, so, you know, like, if you. You know, if you've done those things, then saying, you know what, I'm sorry that I'm trying to force you to talk to me or not. Maybe not seeing that maybe there's something going on with your time. Can you forgive me?
[00:25:14] Speaker A: But see, my best. The thing is, always don't even think they're like, dad, I check on you, so they don't even see it. You know? So I was like, well, what about in that situation, then?
[00:25:25] Speaker B: No, it's okay to say to your children, if you got adult children, they never call you. It's okay to say to your children, hey, I really would. I really would like to hear from you once a week. Or, you know, I really, you know, you know, I appreciate it if you could call me. Like, you can put an expectation out there, but you don't do this. You. Oh, yeah, now you call me. You never call me this and that or this and that, or maybe you have any internal dialogue. Woe is me feeling sorry for yourself because your kids don't call you.
There's lots of other kids out there that need some love.
So.
And that's why some people have adopted children, you know, spiritual children, or they have, you know, but let's not use manipulation, and let's definitely not carry on, you know, and. And, you know, just, like, the thing about looking that another manipulation is where you're told to act one way in public but be another way at home, you know, or to, like, look good. You need to make mom look good. No, that's manipulation, too.
[00:26:28] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: That's manipulation, too. So, yeah.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: So, yeah, folks, I think that's it. Trying to keep it short and sweet. Don't want to go too long. But we thank y' all for tuning in, whether it's Spotify, Apple via YouTube. Like we say, if it's on YouTube, please subscribe. Actually, wherever we at, subscribe so you can get the notifications and keep up with us.
So anything else you'd like to add or say?
[00:26:54] Speaker B: No.
[00:26:55] Speaker A: All right. So until next time, Live life. Sacred peace Shalom Living a life the sacred, Sacred.
